poopology...really?

the other day, we received an email from a friend of ours. he's a great father of two little boys with a sense of humor that matches our own. in the spirit of "what happens in the bathroom", he wrote this email and added some insights of his own. we thought this was just too hilarious to pass up. we hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Dear Chach and Nellie,

I saw this ad for Pedia-Lax on the back cover of the June/July 2011 issue of Disney’s Family Fun magazine today and thought your readers may enjoy it.

Seriously? What is the obsession with poop? First the “getting real about what goes on in the bathroom” and now they want to give me a post graduate degree in children’s constipation? Really?

Here is all you need to know about poop: food goes in, poop comes out. If it doesn’t come out, give the kid some prunes…poop comes out. If it still doesn’t come out, go see your doctor. That’s it.

The bigger issue, the pink elephant in the room here is where the poop goes. Let’s talk about that for a minute. They think that their online resources will give you a Ph.D. in Poopology? This isn’t an institution of higher learning, this is war. There are no diplomas, they give out Medals of Honor to brave mommies and daddies!

How about a 2 year old who insists he is Jackson Pooplick? How about that Pedia-Lax? “Give Poop a Chance?” What burned-out hippie copyrighter thought that was a good idea? How about “Give Mom a Break?” That is better slogan!

I didn’t want to take the third boob hostage with an unwelcomed guest blogger, but I thought your readers would enjoy this ad.

There are all sorts of stories you could write in this same genre. Here are a few of my ideas:

1. Poop Massacre

2. Poop Massacre II, Revenge of the Turds

3. Poop Massacre III, Return of the Brown Knight

4. Poop Massacre IV, The Temple of Poo

Thank you for making this blog a reality. It makes me feel like I am not so alone in this crazy world of parenting.

Sincerely,

J. Bieber

quilted, oh no they didn't!

i don't know about you, but when i actually get to sit and watch something on television, it is like a little mini vacation. time watching tv means the kids are in bed, the house is manageable until tomorrow and i actually did it all with a few moments to spare. as far as i'm concerned, tivo and dvrs are little gifts to mommies so we won't have to waste time on commercials when we actually get a moment to spare.

unfortunately for me, the other day i didn't get a show recorded and actually had to watch live tv. to my dismay, not only did i have to watch commercials, but this one is the one that was playing. have you seen it?

really? do we want to get real about what happens in the bathroom? i can think of about a million things i'd rather do than to listen to some stranger talk about getting herself clean after she's been on the toilet. what's worse is the flashing words along the bottom saying, "when wet". then, just when i thought i'd seen it all, they started to mention "break through." so much for my bowl of rocky road ice cream and my glass of lemonade.

when did we become okay with discussing our post toilet cleanliness on television...and why was it all females in the commercial? after cleaning the underpants of multiple males in this house, i can tell you one thing, it should have been men talking about needing to be clean and not the females. and what about those poor women who have that commercial on their resumes? if i was an actress, i think it would be right up there with having to list my commerical appearances for hemorroid cream or erectile disfunction medication. there are just some paychecks we should say no to, ladies.

beyond all of that, who was the genius that decided that the best way to promote toilet paper to their target audience was to talk about "what really happens in the bathroom?" don't they know that we moms have a first hand knowledge of what happens in the bathroom and we really don't want to talk about it when we finally get to sit and watch tv? i for one have enough of changing diapers, scrubbing toilets, wiping bottoms, and washing underwear during the day. at the end of the day, can we please not bring in images of breakthrough to ruin my evening snack? i don't think it's too much to ask to keep the potty talk off of the tv and in the potty. anyone?