you're never as happy as you look on facebook.

you're never as happy as you look on facebook. it's a true statement, right? life isn't perfect. there are hard days......hard weeks......hard years. 

we all have our moments; it's real life. but how many of us actually post those less-than-perfect moments on social media? not me. do you? 

i know that i'm only posting the happy snapshots. i am pretty sure that is what all of my "friends" are posting....but still i find myself browsing my facebook feed at times and feeling downright sorry for myself and playing the comparison game. you know the one i'm talking about, right?  that friend from college seems to have the most perfect marriage......that high school friend seems to be the world's most perfect mommy and is always doing amazing things with her kids......the grass somehow appears greener in everyone's life, at times. 

a few years ago, i reconnected with an old high school friend through facebook. i had just started going though my divorce. she had gone through a divorce as well. did i take and post photos of me curled in a ball on the bathroom floor sobbing while my children slept in the next room? heck, no. did she post photos like that? nope. but we re-connected because we, while scanning the facebook feed, looked not at what everyone was showing us......but the absence of what they were no longer showing. 

there were no status updates from my sweet friend detailing the destruction of her marriage. 

there were no sob stories from me about feeling lonely and overwhelmed with my new circumstance.

what there was was an absence of happy family photos with a hubby in them. 

what we saw was more mama and kiddo photos overall, and less status updates, in general. 

my friend looked at facebook. she looked, she noticed the absence and she reached out......and i am forever grateful. 

she was a lamppost in a very dark and confusing time for me of change. lampposts will help. they will get you through any challenge. people are amazing lampposts. 

so, I urge you all, wonderful readers, to look at your facebook feed. really look. not at what someone is showing you, but the absence of what they are showing you. reach out to someone. and if you are struggling, be brave enough to be vulnerable and authentic to someone that reaches out. 

none of us are perfect. we each have flaws. we all have bad moments. you don't have to flood your facebook feed with "eeyore-like", woe is me moments, but you don't have to be perfect either. i'm not. i need to make sure i am not comparing my behind-the-scenes moments with someone else's highlight reel. 

i need to know more people aren't perfect. 

it's #RealLife, friends. 

embrace it. 

our favorite posts of all time

it's hard to believe that it's been four years since we started this blog. what began as a place for our close friends to share recipes or see what to register for when having a baby has grown into a thriving community of people worldwide that we consider an extension of our own families.

the past four years in each of our lives have brought about many stories.....some make us laugh and others have made us cry....but all have made us grow and learn.

here are our favorite posts of all time. thank you for coming along on this journey with us. we are thankful for each of you and look forward to sharing many more stories to come. 

xoxo-
heather and genelle


genelle's favorites:

the third boob: the story that started it all
all great things in life have to start somewhere. our list wouldn't be complete without this post. it gave us our name and has been the story we re-tell over and over again everywhere we go. why "the third boob?" this is why.

never-had-a-baby-body
this was our first post to be featured on "scary mommy" and it stirred up a ton of conversation and controversy. we hand never been called "fat slobs who sit on the couch eating french fries all day" before this post was published. you've gotta love a good discussion starter!

failing as a mother
there are certain posts that are so vulnerable that it is like getting a snap shot of our lives at a given moment. this was one of those posts for us. it was extremely hard to write, painful still to read and it touches moms everywhere who are walking through this journey of parenthood.

the day my boobs betrayed me
there are some #reallife moments that are just hysterical. they are too good not to share. this was one of those moments. it still makes me laugh every time i read it.

my days are numbered
even with all the funny stories and very difficult moments, there are days when it hits you. time moves way too quickly. when one of our 20 something guy readers said this post made him cry, we know we had something that resounded with many.



heather's favorites:

my sparkling truth: confessions, a single mama and the road trip
if we decide to do a sponsored post, we do so only if we love the product already and if it fits within a story we want to tell. this product fit both and was the first time heather wrote about the changes that were taking place in her family. it was scary, and the support you all showed her will never be forgotten.

why i killed my ex-husband
you can't get more raw or honest then this. it's still hard for us to read but in truth there is beauty and a future. 

heather's 40 things i've learned in 40 years
genelle's 40 things i've learned in 40 years

we both turned 40 this past december and wrote these posts. we have been friends for 20 years and although we are so alike in so many ways we are also so different. if you want to get to know us, we think these posts give a great insight to who we are and how we think. 

grief, loss, acceptance and love

sadly, at this stage of life, we don't think we even know one person whose life hasn't been touched by cancer. this is one story of how it changed heather's life. 

my 20th high school reunion: to go or not to go....that was the question

did you go to your high school reunion? heather had the hardest time deciding if she should go or not. find out what she decided and how it turned out. 

diy-- photo canvas alarm panel cover

we can't think of a post that makes us laugh more. no, diy projects are not funny. what is hilarious is that heather had put zero thought into this post. she snapped a couple photos of something she had done in her house and put it up on this place called pinterest.....and it exploded. to date, this is the single most read post on our blog of all time and gets hits daily even now. it's the gift that just keep giving? apparently, if you want a post to go viral you put in zero though and slap it up onto pinterest. hilarious, but we love the love and appreciate it so much. 

baby bloggy boot camp

this post is written by me on behalf of liz lange and ergobaby.  product was provided.

at our first blogging conference

the first conference genelle and i ever attended was put on by the fabulous sits girls. our minds were blown. we had come into the blogging world by chance and had no idea that there was even a business to blogging. we left with a arsenal of knowledge that has helped to grow and shape where we are today. about a month ago i had the opportunity to attend another one of their conferences that took place right in my own hometown of sunny san diego (even though for the poor out-of-towners it rained the entire weekend). i was uber lucky to attend the special pre-conference event, baby boot camp and be surrounded by the cutest newborns on the planet while getting to preview incredible product from ergobaby and learn more about blogging.

baby bloggy boot camp is a mini conference within a conference where, while surrounded by awesome mamas and babies, i became re-invigorated with the idea of blogging. having the opportunity to learn from industry experts and leaders, like tiffany and fran from the sits girls and the fabulous ladies from rookie moms, was powerful and i left armed with a huge to-do list of ways to improve what we are already doing. 

in addition to knowledge, i had the opportunity to preview some incredible products from ergobaby. when i had my first child, ergo had not yet come on the market. by the time i had my second, i ditched my first carrier and bought an ergo carrier. it was *amazing*. my back and shoulders didn't hurt using the ergo and it adapted so easily to different carrying positions that were good for both me and my child. the only downside was that i couldn't use it to have my child face forward. enter the new ergo 360. releasing soon, the new ergo 360 allows you to wear your baby in four different positions while continuing to be comfortable and ergonomic. our testers loved it so much that we will be including it in our popular getting ready for baby series (when it's available), along with their fab swaddler and wrap carrier. we will be giving you a more detailed review of these products in the future in our "getting ready for baby" series, but they have received rave reviews from our mommy testers already! (we love it when a brand we adore can hit it out of the park with products really mamas need). 

aside from receiving fabulous product to test and gaining valuable knowledge for my business, the most important thing i walked away from the weekend with was a deep understanding of how important it is to surround yourself with people that make you a better person. find people that lift you up when you are down and challenge you to be a better you. find people to surround yourself with that listen to you and care what you have to say. find people that make you laugh until you snort, people that can be there to cheer you on. in blogging, we call those people a tribe. in life, they are the definition of friendship. find your people, and treasure them. 

diy: rainbow loom school valentine with *free* printables

it's february......and valentine's day is next week?! the days and weeks and months are just flying by and here we are with valentine's day around the corner! (eek!) if you are a mama too, you know the pressure that this darn holiday can put on us. the store bought valentines are not cutting it anymore and every year it gets harder and harder to come up with good ideas.

the obsession this year with girls (and boys) everywhere are rainbow loom bracelets. kids are making them so fast that they are spilling out of homes and onto the wrists of kids everywhere. this year, if you have a kiddo that is into bracelet making have them join in the fun of making the valentines for their class! simply get them to work making a bracelet for every kiddo in the class. all you have to do is print out one of the cute printables below onto the colored card stock of your choice, cut two vertical slits to slide the bracelet through, attach a bracelet, have your child sign their name and you're done! another idea is to print out onto white card stock and then have your child color their own creation (as pictured in the hand valentine). the possibilities are truly endless and will take you as far as your imagination can. we hope this helps make the valentine process even a little easier on you. we've got your back, mamas. xoxo- heather & genelle

ps- huge shout out to the fabulous & talented miss giuliana (7 years old) who made us the awesome bracelet featured in the valentines. we adore you! xo

click for printable file

click for link to printable file

click for link to printable file

two. long. weeks.

these last two weeks have not been what we expected. what was supposed to be a (somewhat) calm spring break (as much as a "break" with five kids home can be) turned into an avalanche of events that took us on a different type of adventure. one friend's husband ended up with an unexpected triple bypass surgery during spring break and two of her five babies spent some fun filled days with my five. another friend had an emergency appendectomy and i had the pleasure of watching her sweet daughters for one day of her recovery. two friends had marriages fall apart over the last two weeks and needed lots of time talking and crying combined with lots of wise counsel. that combined with my three year old on steroids (literally) and it has truly been a long couple of weeks. i'm not complaining. my weeks were a piece of cake compared to all my friends have been through. still, as i look back at it all, here's what comes to mind.

• everything can wait. the house can be dirty. the blog can fall behind. clothes can wait to be washed for one more day. meetings can be postponed. all the details of our lives can wait when someone needs us. people are the most important part of our lives. when our worlds get shaken, the weighty things settle into place and we can recalibrate our lives to remember what we're really doing here...and those who are most important.
• family is all relative (no pun intended). don't get me wrong. i love my sweet parents and my siblings. still, while they are in california and i'm in south carolina, i have a different kind of family. i have a family that i do life with. i have friends i can call on for anything, anywhere, anytime. and they can call on me. so many of us live away from our own families or have imperfect relationships with blood relatives. i've been reminded how important it is to invest in the families of our own making...those amazing people who come into our lives and fill so many holes we didn't even know existed.
• imperfection is totally okay. i may not have showered. the kids may have eaten fast food two days in a row. i may not have answered the phone when it rang. i may have forgotten school lunch money. i may have forgotten the baby could climb the stairs and panicked for a few minutes thinking i had lost him. all of that is okay. the wall hanging pictured above is in my kitchen. it's my new mantra. grace is so much more important than perfection.
• blessing others means that they can bless someone else. this has been my theme song to my kids these last two weeks. it's a song i'm hoping to repeat when these weeks are over. my kids finally came to understand that when they help me (around the house, with the baby, by being kind to one another) they are blessing me. when they bless me, i have more time and energy to be a blessing to others. they got to see this first hand these weeks as we had other kids in our house whose parents needed help. learning the positive repercussions of blessing others and the snowball effect it creates is a powerful lesson for our kids. i showed them the video below to drive it all home. well done, "liberty mutual"...i truly think this is advertising (and life lesson) genius. 

• lastly, this week reminded me that easter eggs should only be filled with chocolate....lots and lots of chocolate. 

we've missed you all. we are happy to be back. we hope you have had two weeks full of blessings, family, chocolate, and grace.

don't block my blessing

i recently wrote a post about how much we moms need each other. i had such a positive response to that post that, as i mulled it over, i decided i needed to add one more note to moms everywhere. if you missed my first post, you can read it here.

no mom is an island

i've thought a great deal about how difficult it is for so many of us to accept the gift of help from someone else. words with negative connotations such as "hand outs" and "charity" come to mind. we have managed to misconstrue the loving kindness of others as a poor grade on the perpetual final exam that is motherhood. we become embarrassed and defiant when others offer to help. "how dare they offer such a thing? don't they see that i have it all together? i am perfectly capable of doing things on my own." any of that sound familiar? even if it is not the truth, it's the version that we like to claim for ourselves. 

believe me, i'm the worst offender. i don't like to admit weakness, in any form. i am ridiculously independent and stubborn. i like to feel like i have my act together. still, living like that is incredibly isolating. when i finally let my guard down and learn to accept the kindness of others, i have learned how real friendship looks. 

one of my wise and wonderful friends quickly picked up on my hesitance to accept help from anyone. she stopped me with one quick phrase, "don't block my blessing." we all know it's true, it's amazing to give to someone else and the blessings do come back to us tenfold. if we don't allow people to do things for us, we're blocking the tenfold blessing that will return to them. in one small phrase, the tables had turned. instead of me being selfish for taking the help of others, i became selfish to refuse it. there is so much power in those four little words. 

(yes, that's one of my toilets.)

if you think that you couldn't possibly accept the help of others, let me just tell you a story to compare all yours against. after i had my fourth sweet baby, my body went crazy. i had the sexy combination of arthritis, bursitis and tendinitis all at once (...and no, i'm not 95). every move i made was painful. i remember crying every time i picked up my baby from his crib because there wasn't a part of me that didn't hurt to hold him. add to that bit of horror the fact that my in-laws were coming to visit. i couldn't handle holding my baby, let alone a vacuum cleaner. one morning, there was a knock at my door. standing in my doorway were three of the greatest girlfriends anyone could ever ask for, armed with cleaning supplies and rubber gloves. they cleaned my entire house. you want to understand a new level of humility? stand by and watch your friend on her hands and knees, scrubbing the toilet in your bathroom. 

could i have cleaned it myself? probably. would i have figured a way to block out whatever pain i was feeling and suffer through it? i'm sure i would have. was it difficult to stand by and watch others do what would have been my responsibility? absolutely. did i cry with gratitude when they left? undoubtedly. were they blessed ten fold for blessing me? i can only hope. without question, that incident has motivated me to be there for someone else. if someone has a hard time receiving what i'd like to give, you can bet i'm pulling out all the stops... "don't block my blessing." i'm not sure what ten fold is going to look like but i'm certain it will be amazing.

honesty, emotion and trust.

i have alluded in the recent past to my life being far less than perfect at the moment. i  have a laundry list of things that have happened in the past 2 years or so that i have been trying to stay positive in spite of. i am not good at showing emotion. i am not sure if emotion simply makes me uncomfortable or if i feel weak when i am vulnerable and showing emotion. (i think it is the latter but i am not sure if i am able to fully admit that at the moment). i feel very alone in this isolation i have created. not opening up to people because i feel badly about burdening them with the chaos and drama of my life has catapulted me into a pit of emotion that is currently busy expanding to the point that i feel that if i were to start to talk about it all i would either have complete diarrhea of the mouth and not be able to stop talking, open up a river of tears that may drown me or show that i am weak. that i am human. that i cry too. that i am far from perfect. that i am real.

over the past couple months i have been working on humbling myself to talk more about how i am feeling to those closest to me. it doesn't come easily.....however, an incredible thing has happened every time that i have: i have learned that i am not alone. every person has something going on in their life that they are struggling with. no matter how large or small of a challenge, i am not alone. there are other people struggling too. while i am not ready to share every detail of what i am going through with the big bad world.....i *am* going to try to open up, be more vulnerable and *trust* the people around me.


wouldn't the world be a better place if we all simply (or not so simply) opened up and trusted each other more? well......maybe not the whole world, but for now, my little corner of it. 


xoxo- chach

the bachelorette and me

i have to admit...i watch the bachelorette. it is my monday night guilty pleasure. i like to believe that emily and i could be friends. she has a six year old daughter. i have a six year old daughter. she lives in charlotte. i live in charlotte. she wants a bunch of kids. i have a bunch of kids. i'm pretty convinced that i'll run into her at the grocery store and we'll hit it off. it could happen, right?

emily's stock went up 100% in my book on this last episode. it had nothing to do with the guys she was dating and everything to do with a two minute clip they showed of her with her girlfriends. when she mentioned that she was going to meet some of her friends, i have to admit i was imagining a table full of beautiful, super-model type women sitting around a trendy restaurant in uptown charlotte. instead, she met some other moms at a park. the moms were all beautiful in their own right but they had all given up their "never-had-a-baby-bodies", they wore regular clothes, sat around a picnic bench and watched the kids play. it was a picture of me and my friends and for the first time ever, a bachelorette became a normal person.

i have to say that i wonder about people whose only friends are as gorgeous as they are. it always makes me wonder if their friendship goes beyond skin deep. when you see someone who is absolutely stunning, on "reality" television with her pick of 25 men, you wonder what they are like in reality. how nice to see someone in the spotlight with women who looked normal, happy, and supportive. show me a friend with a "never-had-a-baby-body" or not, showered or not, wealthy or not, who will sit with me and my kids, support me, be happy for me, and occasionally offer to take my kids to soccer practice and i will show you one fantastic friend.

well done, emily. i don't care which guy you choose in the end. in my book, you have chosen wisely.

what's in a name....

during two fun-filled years in college, i was lucky enough to live with a group of girls in a big, beautiful, fabulous house (the likes of which none of us would be able to afford to rent, let alone buy, today). we were fortunate enough to pay insanely low rent in exchange for keeping the house nice for the owners until they decided to sell it. we were called "the willow street girls" and we *loved* to come up with names for people. nicknames were our speciality. instead of the classic, normal names we were given by our parents, we called one another by our nicknames: kizzy, furnt, boris, chach and nellie. (yep. truth.)

when nellie and i first talked about the idea of starting this blog there were two rules that our hubbies insisted on: 1. we will not show photos of our kids faces to protect them from potential scary people out there and 2. we wanted to use nicknames.

naturally, we quickly settled on our regularly used nicknames for each other (chach and nellie) and didn't think twice. heck, i wasn't sure that anyone but *maybe* our own families or close friends would even be interested in what we had to say.......we never dreamed that we would be going to conferences, meeting anyone in person or having anyone recognize us. 

nellie has it easy. let's face it: nellie is a normal name. even someone on the wholesome "little house on the prairie" series was named nellie. there is nothing too odd or strange in that name......but chach?! what was i thinking? it takes a lot of confidence for me to walk up to people and introduce myself as "chach". i'll admit that part of it is because it is a fairly masculine name.  a few weeks ago, i learned that "chach" is another word for vagina. yep. hoo-ha, beaver, toppy...whatever you want to call it. chach is a term that some people use for a va-jay-jay!! seriously?! now, not only do i have to be confident being chach, the manly woman.....but i am basically saying, "hi. my name is vagina. nice to meet you." yep. try that one on for size. anyone want to trade places?!

20,000 feet, music, friendship, atlanta and a bloggy boot camp

as you read this nellie and i are probably in route to atlanta, georgia. why, you ask? well....aside from the fact that we can't wait to have a girlfriends get-away (sans the hubbys and kiddos).....AND the fact that we haven't seen each other in over *two* years (insane).......we are going to our very first blogging conference--bloggy boot camp! we are giddy with excitement for oh, so many reasons and will be updating you with tales of our adventures when we return. 


as i make the journey from california to georgia at 20,000 feet these will be the tunes i will be singing along to (better hope you are not sitting next to me). welcome to my crazy head via music. enjoy!


long time traveller by the wailin' jennys
tonight tonight by hot chelle rae
lollipop by mika
marry you (glee cast version)

tighten up by the black keys brothers

fix you (the voice performance) by  javier colon

the lazy song by bruno mars

love song by sara bareilles
stereo hearts (feat. adam levine) by gym class heroes

i do by  colbie caillat

grace kelly by mika
loser like me (glee cast version)

moves like jagger [feat. christina aguilera] by maroon 5

marry me by train

say by john mayer

stay the night by james blunt

stuck like glue by sugarland

home by edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros

the dreaded phone call

last night i received a phone call that i have been hoping would never come. my good friend, leslie is unresponsive in an icu in california after years and years of battling cancer. what started as a small melanoma spread to her lymph nodes, the tissue around her breast, tumors to her brain. she has done amazingly well fighting this horrible disease and we have seen so many times when she was improving. she has been covered in love and prayers and now we have to trust that God has her life in his hands.

as i was sitting last night thinking about her life, so many things came to mind. you may be thinking, "is she going to go into a diatribe about wearing sunscreen?", "is this going to be a cancer prevention blog?" while those things are important, those things didn't stand out to me as i was thinking about leslie. different things came to mind.

that girl knew how to have a good time. i have hundreds of memories with her...laughing, crying, but generally just having an amazing time together. we took an adult beginner's tap dancing class together. seriously, i've never laughed so hard in all my life! there is nothing like watching grown-ups try to learn new tricks and all of a sudden try to gain coordination that wasn't there before. i now know why my parents never signed me up for dance classes as a child. grace is not my thing.

there were countless coffees, dinners out, shopping trips, girl trips to hawaii or to see a broadway show. she is a great friend and i am so glad that i poured myself and my time into someone as wonderful as she. so, here's my sobering word to the wise this morning: take time for girlfriends. i get it. i have four kids i'm chasing around all the time. i know how hard it is to brush your teeth some days, let alone spend time with friends. i know that a dinner out means cutting back on what you feed your family when you're eating in. still, it is so very important.

good girlfriends are magical. they can tell you that certain pants make your butt look big in ways that your husband never should. they can make you laugh when you think you're losing your mind because they have been there before. they can take your mind off of all the normal details of your day by giving a listening ear or sharing a story that puts your day to shame. they can share your life in ways that your husband alone never could.

how about you? do you have a girlfriend you need to call today? do you have a life you need to invest in? i know, it won't be easy; something in your home will fall through the cracks. still, you won't regret taking time for yourself to be with your girlfriends. with leslie, i don't regret a minute or a dime i spent with her. while my heart aches to think of this world without her, i am blessed to have a mind full of the memories of her...and of our friendship together.