it's a girl!

this post is sponsored by rachael ray's nutrish. the thoughts and opinions are my own.

after being a happy #boymom to my favorite 6 & 8 year olds on the planet i am happy to say that we have added a girl to our little family! not the human kid, friends. this gal recently brought home a bundle of cute kitten goodness to complete our family.

a couple of weeks ago, genelle and i were able to spend an amazing girlfriends weekend together at catcon (thanks to our favorite people at nutrish). living across the country from each other, genelle and i get giddy with happiness when we have the opportunity to travel together for the blog and be able to spend time together. catcon is a huge convention that takes place in los angeles for all the cat lovers of the world to unite, participate in all sorts of fun activities, peruse cat related merchandise and learn more about the best of the best in all cat products.

we knew we were going to have a fun time at catcon, but even though my boys had been begging for a pet for months, i had *zero* intention of coming home with a kitten. the last few years of my life have been filled with lots of highs and lows that were beyond my control so i find myself not often doing things impulsively. however, upon entering the spca's area with adoptable kitten and cats from local shelters and seeing the cutest kitten ever i was head over heals for miss lola.

after a little disbelief in my own desire to add a kitten to our family, and a little gentle push from genelle....i adopted her. my heart was warm and we left the area with instructions to come back to pick her up at the end out the day. i practically skipped with glee out of there to tell our friends at nutrish. everyone shared in my joy....and then the panic set in. what the heck was i going to do?! we were in la, staying at a hotel, with *nothing* there to be able to bring home my newly adopted fur baby. in a mad dash, we rushed to the closest target in an uber for the essentials (who knew there were so many litter options?!), rushed back to our favorite vendors to grab more goodies and, of course, nutrish cat food for miss lola.

with the hotel set up for my newest addition, we headed back to catcon to pick her up, introduce her to her new nutrish family members and head back to the hotel.

we cozied in for a "say yes to the dress marathon" in our pj's and started taking a ridiculous amount of sleepy kitty photos (like any good cat mom should, correct?!)

after our return to san diego, miss lola settled in nicely and i prepared to surprise my sweet boys when they returned home.....and boy were they surprised!

after deciding that she needed an additional name was needed.....miss lola ohana was officially a member of our little clan (ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten...for my fellow lilo & stitch fans out there).

lola has settled in nicely and the boys are obsessed with learning how to care for her and make her feel welcomed. sweet lola follows them around everywhere they go and has already rounded out our family with love and happiness. moral of this story? maybe i should be impulsive on a more frequent basis and happiness often comes when you least expect it.



about nutrish:

nutrish is the fantastic line of super premium pet food created by the brilliant pet advocate, rachael ray. nutrish is made with simple, wholesome ingredients like real meat or fish, and do not contain poultry by-product meal or fillers.

rachael's personal proceeds go to rachael's rescue which was created to help shelter pets in need. to date, she has donated over $10 million. this money has gone toward food, medical supplies and treatments for those unfortunate animals. all of the rachael ray nutrish products are available where you shop for your family's groceries, making specialty recipes accessible and convenient for every pet parent. if you are considering adding a new member to your family, please consider adoption.

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the worst memories

there are some days i will never forget for all the worst reasons. i will never forget where i stood in my classroom as a teacher on 9/11. i will never forget sitting on a soccer field as the ground started rolling during the california earthquake of 1989. my grandparents could recall in detail the news of the bombing of pearl harbor. certain moments are stamped indelibly in our minds.

for me, one more moment is forever etched in my mind. i was pregnant for the first time and my husband and i had embarked on the adventure of a lifetime. we had moved to cartagena, colombia for my husband's job and were living temporarily in the amazingly beautiful santa clara hotel. at about 3:30 in the morning of april 6th, we were woken by a phone call. i was closest to the phone and, in my sleepy stupor, did not even register that a phone call at that hour could possibly mean something horrible. as i tried to clear the sleepy fog from my brain, my father-in-law started speaking. his words were short and to the point. phil, my husband's younger brother, had been working an extra detail that night at his job as a sheriff's deputy. he was shot. he is dead. he was 25. i sat there trying to comprehend the words and then took in the weight of it all. the most distressing fact for me at that moment was that i had to pass the phone to my husband knowing the news before him and wishing with everything in me i could shield him from what he was about to hear. i looked over at him beside me, now awake in the bed and before i passed the phone to him, whispered the words, "i am so sorry." the memory of that moment still takes my breath away. 

this weekend marked eleven years since that night. eleven years of missing someone. eleven christmases. eleven birthdays. countless moments of wondering what he would be like today. i still find myself longing to pick up the telephone and call him up to chat and laugh. he was more than my brother-in-law, he was my friend and i miss him. i can't, however, even claim to know a bit of the loss my husband has suffered. so, each anniversary comes along and again, all i can ever really think to say is, "i am so sorry." it seems silly and inadequate and yet, nothing i say could ever fill the hole left by his death. 

a few years ago, we decided to work on filling up some of the holes surrounding the anniversary day with good things. we fill up the day with joy and happy moments for our family. my husband typically takes the day off of work and we fill it with activities. this weekend meant we filled it with a trip to the donut shop with the kids. a trip to build bird feeders at home depot. dinner with friends and neighbors. a movie night out. the day was filled with hugs and kisses, sunshine, conversation. we fill the day with life and family in honor of someone who is still a part of ours. somehow, bringing fun to a horrible day turns it around. i can imagine phil in all of the moments of our day, laughing with his niece and nephews, talking with his brother, enjoying it all. we had so many april 6th's in a row that were filled with so much sadness. there is something redeeming in filling years of april 6th's with something more. 

and so, we will continue to do so. we will continue to remember him and miss him while loving on our kids. we will play and laugh and hug and kiss more than we normally do. we will fill the day with life and remember him in all the greatest ways. we will remember to keep living. i think phil would love that.

thankful jar

i have seen several ideas floating around this year. it seems the theme of thanksgiving has been permeating the thoughts and souls of many, many people. i, too, have decided to cultivate a thankful heart, both in myself and in my family. we have added our own thanksgiving jar to our family traditions we plan to keep from year to year. there are many versions of this. some people have started a thanksgiving journal. others are incorporating writing spaces in their homes where they can post their daily declarations of thankfulness. i loved this idea. as my family finds something they are thankful for, they write it on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. at the end of 2014, we'll take the papers out and look back on all the things we've been thankful for over the last year. the art of finding things to be thankful for even on the worst days is revolutionizing our minds and hearts as we approach this new year. if a jar doesn't sound appealing to you, find another way to chronicle the things you are thankful for. i guarantee, it will make your life better.

i started with an extra large bell jar. i purchased some chalk stickers and some ribbon and decorated the jar in a way that would make me happy as it stares at me for the next year (and maybe the years after as well).

i know myself (and my family members). if the task of writing becomes too difficult, the moments of thankfulness will never make it onto a piece of paper. so, i prepared a second jar. this jar is full of pre-cut papers and a couple of little sharpie markers (my personal favorite). i left the lid off of the jar for easy access. now any of my family members can find a moment of thankfulness and easily write it down to put in our jar.

what about you? do you have ways to cultivate a thankful heart in your families and in yourself? what an amazing transformation happens when we first strive, even on the toughest days, to be thankful. 

leaving a legacy

when i came back from her funeral, my lilies had just started to bloom. they were extremely late bloomers this year. i like to think it was on purpose. 

we have been blogging for a little over two years now. in that time, we have shared our experiences as we have lost friends to cancer. each friend taught us something and left a permanent imprint on our lives. my first sweet friend was lost in august of 2011. if you haven't read about leslie, she was honored in "the dreaded phone call." she left behind her amazing husband and two grown kids and managed to live to see her first grand baby. our second friend was lost in january of 2012. her story inspired "the art of being remembered." megan left behind her husband and two small children. this month, we lost our third beautiful friend to cancer. words cannot express the sadness that has come with the loss of each person but we have gained so much from each of their lives. each one of them has left an impression on us that will never be forgotten and a legacy that they are passing on to those left behind.

when i think of my friend, lara, i cannot help but be grateful for the time i knew her. we moved into our neighborhood very near to the time when her cancer was diagnosed. our now rising 1st graders grew up together. i have watched her fight through her disease. through it all, she left a beautiful legacy, a heritage for those who knew her and for her sweet daughter. when i think of lara, these are the lovely things i will remember.

she left a legacy of family. she loved her family. in a society where spouses are quick to diminish one another in the company of others, she stood out. she publicly praised and honored her husband. she was so thankful for him, for his love, for his care, for his friendship. she built up her husband and he adored her. she modeled a loving marriage for her daughter. that is a gift her sweet girl will carry with her forever. lara took time to invest in and bond with her sister, her best friend. she took time to relish in the relationships with her parents. most of all, she loved her little girl. even on days when she was not feeling well, she invested in the life of her daughter. she was there, smiling as her girl stepped off the school bus. she loved on her, created memories with her, and exemplified what a mother can be. lara recognized that her time was limited but i don't believe that is why she cherished her daughter, her husband, her sister, and her parents. that's just who she was.

she left a legacy of friendship. lara was a true friend and she inspired others around her to become better friends to others. she could make you laugh even in the midst of a horrible day. when i stepped on a school bus to yell at some screaming children (yep, i'm *that* mom), she publicly had my back and cheered me on. when our kids were in preschool and my son insisted on staying behind to clean the sinks in the bathroom because that's what's expected at home (once again...i'm *that* mom too), she praised me to others. she had just enough snark to make things interesting and to keep people laughing. she inspired a neighborhood full of women to become "supporting sisters" and secretly leave her gifts once a week. over the course of two years, there were 35 neighbors and close to 10 women from the preschool who brought her gifts. it takes an amazing friend to inspire that kind of love from others. 

she left a legacy of fortitude. i think this is true of almost anyone fighting cancer. they are the bravest, strongest, most resilient people i have ever known. she outlived and outfought the doctor's time frames. she went through countless medications and countless treatments with such grace and such courage. she fought for time, time with her husband, time with her daughter, time with her family and friends. i am so thankful for her strength. because she fought, we were all given more time with her, more memories. because of her strength and many answered prayers, her daughter has years of memories to take with her. 

she left a legacy of faith. even when things were hard, lara went to church and she brought her daughter. her little girl knew about heaven and when her mommy went there, she understood some about that amazing place. lara knew how important faith would be in her little girl's life and she planted those seeds in her daughter that will grow as years go by. what a gift that is.

when all the dust settles and all the emotions align themselves in my mind, one thing keeps resurfacing...gratitude. i am so grateful. i am grateful to have known lara and leslie. heather is grateful to have known megan. we are grateful for the time we had with each of them. we are grateful that they each left such amazing legacies for their children. their kids have a heritage of faith, of love, of strength and of laughter. we are grateful for what their lives and their deaths have taught us. we are grateful that all of their pain is over. we are inspired to leave a lasting legacy of our own. we are grateful.

two. long. weeks.

these last two weeks have not been what we expected. what was supposed to be a (somewhat) calm spring break (as much as a "break" with five kids home can be) turned into an avalanche of events that took us on a different type of adventure. one friend's husband ended up with an unexpected triple bypass surgery during spring break and two of her five babies spent some fun filled days with my five. another friend had an emergency appendectomy and i had the pleasure of watching her sweet daughters for one day of her recovery. two friends had marriages fall apart over the last two weeks and needed lots of time talking and crying combined with lots of wise counsel. that combined with my three year old on steroids (literally) and it has truly been a long couple of weeks. i'm not complaining. my weeks were a piece of cake compared to all my friends have been through. still, as i look back at it all, here's what comes to mind.

• everything can wait. the house can be dirty. the blog can fall behind. clothes can wait to be washed for one more day. meetings can be postponed. all the details of our lives can wait when someone needs us. people are the most important part of our lives. when our worlds get shaken, the weighty things settle into place and we can recalibrate our lives to remember what we're really doing here...and those who are most important.
• family is all relative (no pun intended). don't get me wrong. i love my sweet parents and my siblings. still, while they are in california and i'm in south carolina, i have a different kind of family. i have a family that i do life with. i have friends i can call on for anything, anywhere, anytime. and they can call on me. so many of us live away from our own families or have imperfect relationships with blood relatives. i've been reminded how important it is to invest in the families of our own making...those amazing people who come into our lives and fill so many holes we didn't even know existed.
• imperfection is totally okay. i may not have showered. the kids may have eaten fast food two days in a row. i may not have answered the phone when it rang. i may have forgotten school lunch money. i may have forgotten the baby could climb the stairs and panicked for a few minutes thinking i had lost him. all of that is okay. the wall hanging pictured above is in my kitchen. it's my new mantra. grace is so much more important than perfection.
• blessing others means that they can bless someone else. this has been my theme song to my kids these last two weeks. it's a song i'm hoping to repeat when these weeks are over. my kids finally came to understand that when they help me (around the house, with the baby, by being kind to one another) they are blessing me. when they bless me, i have more time and energy to be a blessing to others. they got to see this first hand these weeks as we had other kids in our house whose parents needed help. learning the positive repercussions of blessing others and the snowball effect it creates is a powerful lesson for our kids. i showed them the video below to drive it all home. well done, "liberty mutual"...i truly think this is advertising (and life lesson) genius. 

• lastly, this week reminded me that easter eggs should only be filled with chocolate....lots and lots of chocolate. 

we've missed you all. we are happy to be back. we hope you have had two weeks full of blessings, family, chocolate, and grace.

filling the advent calendar

i love the idea of advent calendars. i love the anticipate they build and the chance we have to celebrate each and every day leading up to christmas. i do struggle, however, with the thought of giving little gifts on each day of the month. i feel like kids get enough gifts during december. even if the calendars are only filled with little pieces of chocolate, i still feel like it can be too much. that combined with the fact that i have five children (and no little box or space for any day of the month is going to fit five pieces of anything) left me wanting to try something new this year.

i tried to think about what we love most about christmas. i thought about our family traditions and how we try to give back during the holiday season. after spending quite a bit of time brainstorming, i was able to come up with 24 activities to do or special moments to share with our kids during advent.

i spent time writing each item down on a calendar and then i typed out each day's event with a number at the top. here are some of the advent days i used...

after printing out the days on christmas scrapbooking paper, i cut out each day's activity, folded it up and sealed it with a sticker. each activity fit (with some convincing) in our little advent snowman.

now we have a month of doing things together, giving back as a family, and remembering what christmas is all about.

if you haven't started an advent calendar tradition, it's not too late! how can your advent calendar compliment your holiday season?

baby cinco

it's official. we have a new baby boy to add to the third boob family. he'll be two weeks old tomorrow and is perfect, as all new babies are. welcome to the party, baby cinco. you're in for a crazy ride with the third boob bunch but we think you're going to like it here. we are so happy to have you.

birthday blessings...

today i turn another year older. chach has a december birthday as well. i am officially eleven days older but we have a remarkable thing in common. each december we get to celebrate not only another calendar year ending and a new one beginning, but another year of our own lives that has come and gone as well. after spending a day reflecting on the year that has come to an end, i feel the need to share a few things i'm thankful for. perhaps it can spur on a moment of thankfulness of your own.

i'm thankful for health. this last year, one of my good girlfriends passed away from cancer. another friend lost his life in a tragic car accident. other amazing girlfriends are battling hard against cancer. friends have faced sick children beyond what i can even comprehend. the young parents of my friends have passed away from various illnesses. i will never take the health of my family for granted. each day that i wake up and find that my biggest health complaint is another child with an ear infection is a day worthy of rejoicing. sometimes i have to stop myself from thinking that my life is difficult because i have two kids with colds at once. may i always have eyes to see things from a proper perspective and remember to be thankful for the huge blessing of a healthy family.

i'm thankful for this new baby and the kids and husband i already have. sure, i joke about my "never-had-a-baby-body." i have shared frustrations with people who have said things perhaps they shouldn't about this fifth pregnancy. there are days when my own children push me to limits i didn't think i could handle. here's, however, what i thought about today. my friends who have suffered miscarriage after miscarriage have been the biggest supporters of my fifth baby. one friend who had a complete hysterectomy in her 20's wonders what it would be like to lose her "never-had-a-baby-body." having a handful of children to care for at home is a dream for some women who would give anything to be mother at all. no matter what sacrifices are made, what difficulties are faced, or how much work is involved, these kids are my greatest blessings. having an amazing husband to share this experience with is an fantastic bonus.

i'm thankful for an amazing place to live. i love my house. i love my neighborhood and my current hometown. this, however is not what i'm referring to when i say i live in an amazing place. i lived overseas for over five years. my first three children were born while living in a foreign country. i know what it is like to live in the murder capital of the world. i know what it is like to look behind my back as i walk with my children in the evenings to make sure we're not being followed. i've fought in the grocery store over a bag of sugar and a carton of milk. i've been medically evacuated out of a country due to poor medical care. we've ridden in armored cars and traveled from one town to another only with large assault weapons accompanying us. i've been on email lists that tell me when a butcher has meat to sell, which grocery stores have been stocked with basic food products, and when the u.s. embassy will be able to provide food that we can't purchase elsewhere. i've lived in places where freedoms we daily take for granted are beyond what is currently possible. we live in an amazing place and we're amazingly spoiled. we find so much to complain about, from leadership to politics to economics, to a grocery store being out of a specialty item we are looking for. we need to learn to be thankful. the line to get into this country is still long. we are blessed enough to call it home. that's something to be grateful for.

i'm thankful for the freedom to be me. i get to blog whatever i want and, not only am i allowed to, but there is a select group of people who actually want to hear what i have to say. i am grateful. i get to go to church and worship without persecution. martyrs are being made the world over and yet i am able to attend services completely unharmed. i am thankful. i have girlfriends who are selfless and kind and who encourage me on a daily basis. i don't have to be someone that i am not when i am around them. they love me for me and i love each and every one of them. they are some of my greatest blessings.

along with the big things, i'm pretty content in the small things of the day too. i'm thankful that i was able to shower, wash and dry my hair, and shave both legs, all on the same day. i'm thankful for a starbucks chai tea latte, something that brightens any day. i'm thankful for love and hugs and kisses from my family. i'm thankful for facebook and a litany of happy birthday wishes from people who span my entire lifetime. i'm thankful for the haagen dazs ice cream bar that is waiting for me in the freezer once i finish writing. most of all, i'm thankful that today begins another year of this amazing life i have been given. while my journey may be different than i ever imagined it would be, i am blessed beyond belief...and indescribably grateful.