our favorite posts of all time

it's hard to believe that it's been four years since we started this blog. what began as a place for our close friends to share recipes or see what to register for when having a baby has grown into a thriving community of people worldwide that we consider an extension of our own families.

the past four years in each of our lives have brought about many stories.....some make us laugh and others have made us cry....but all have made us grow and learn.

here are our favorite posts of all time. thank you for coming along on this journey with us. we are thankful for each of you and look forward to sharing many more stories to come. 

xoxo-
heather and genelle


genelle's favorites:

the third boob: the story that started it all
all great things in life have to start somewhere. our list wouldn't be complete without this post. it gave us our name and has been the story we re-tell over and over again everywhere we go. why "the third boob?" this is why.

never-had-a-baby-body
this was our first post to be featured on "scary mommy" and it stirred up a ton of conversation and controversy. we hand never been called "fat slobs who sit on the couch eating french fries all day" before this post was published. you've gotta love a good discussion starter!

failing as a mother
there are certain posts that are so vulnerable that it is like getting a snap shot of our lives at a given moment. this was one of those posts for us. it was extremely hard to write, painful still to read and it touches moms everywhere who are walking through this journey of parenthood.

the day my boobs betrayed me
there are some #reallife moments that are just hysterical. they are too good not to share. this was one of those moments. it still makes me laugh every time i read it.

my days are numbered
even with all the funny stories and very difficult moments, there are days when it hits you. time moves way too quickly. when one of our 20 something guy readers said this post made him cry, we know we had something that resounded with many.



heather's favorites:

my sparkling truth: confessions, a single mama and the road trip
if we decide to do a sponsored post, we do so only if we love the product already and if it fits within a story we want to tell. this product fit both and was the first time heather wrote about the changes that were taking place in her family. it was scary, and the support you all showed her will never be forgotten.

why i killed my ex-husband
you can't get more raw or honest then this. it's still hard for us to read but in truth there is beauty and a future. 

heather's 40 things i've learned in 40 years
genelle's 40 things i've learned in 40 years

we both turned 40 this past december and wrote these posts. we have been friends for 20 years and although we are so alike in so many ways we are also so different. if you want to get to know us, we think these posts give a great insight to who we are and how we think. 

grief, loss, acceptance and love

sadly, at this stage of life, we don't think we even know one person whose life hasn't been touched by cancer. this is one story of how it changed heather's life. 

my 20th high school reunion: to go or not to go....that was the question

did you go to your high school reunion? heather had the hardest time deciding if she should go or not. find out what she decided and how it turned out. 

diy-- photo canvas alarm panel cover

we can't think of a post that makes us laugh more. no, diy projects are not funny. what is hilarious is that heather had put zero thought into this post. she snapped a couple photos of something she had done in her house and put it up on this place called pinterest.....and it exploded. to date, this is the single most read post on our blog of all time and gets hits daily even now. it's the gift that just keep giving? apparently, if you want a post to go viral you put in zero though and slap it up onto pinterest. hilarious, but we love the love and appreciate it so much. 

grief, loss, acceptance and love.

i spent two weeks on vacation this summer with my two little men. me. a single mama, thought it would be a good idea to embark on an ambitious itinerary that involved multiple states, plane flights, stays at friends and families houses, long car rides, and a hotel stay. did i mention i have 4 & 6 year old boys? yep. crazy town. on top of that, it was an emotionally charged trip in so many ways. one of the legs of the trip was to see my friends megan's family.  

a little over two years ago, i lost my childhood friend to cancer. we grew up the best of buddies and although, as we grew older, our lives took us in different directions and locations, we stayed close. it's funny how friends that have been a part of your life for so long transition, without you even realizing into family. that was my megs. a common love of theater is what brought us together as kids, and even though we both changed and grew in so many different ways, we loved one another the way sisters would and loved each other through the best and the worst of times. 

at the same time my friend was losing her battle with melanoma, i had lost my marriage. it was an unbearable time of life for me. the loss of it all was, at times, suffocating. i remember the calls from her husband and mom the day we lost her like a movie that you have watched so many times, you can recite it word-for-word. just thinking of that night causes me to catch my breath. it plays, at times, in my head on a loop....as if it will somehow all feel real at some point. she is gone. 

the trip was an opportunity for me to fulfill my promise to my friend that our children would know each other as they grew, but also a quest for me to find some closure and peace in her passing..... it had all happened so suddenly and in the midst of my own grief and processing of my own marriage failing. although I flew to be there for the funeral, I never had been back in their home. i went to the funeral and then tucked away that grief in a corner of my mind for a day when I was ready. when I could give it the attention and respect that it deserved. 

it has been said that the difference between what you want or need and what you fear is sometimes the width of an eyelash. i wanted to go back to her home. i wanted to spend time with her wonderful legacy of a family she had left....but it was scary. it was real. 

at first it was hard. everything seemed just as she had left it. it was as if she was going to walk in the door at any moment and the whole thing was just one awful bad dream. but it was was so real. she was gone. she wasn't coming back. i sought out ways to help. i wanted to support my friend by being there for her husband and kids. despite my own intense grief, i tried to be present for each moment. it was hard being there, occupying my dead best friends life. experiencing things that she should be there experiencing. i was surprised by the guilt I felt. that I was alive and she was not to be able to experience all of these moments. there were so many wonderful memories that i will treasure forever: experiences like going to the pool together, introducing the kids to movies her and i had watched together as kids, water fights, lip syncing with her sweet daughter, building forts, painting nails, painting rocks to bring to her gravesite and her sweet little girl picking out matching outfits for us to wear.

i left that trip with a sense of calm. these unbelievably amazing little kiddos are such a perfect reflection of her and although megs is gone, she is living on through them in so many ways. the people that love them and her are keeping her alive through stories and pictures and memory-making moments, like the few i was able to share with them. i know that even though megan isn't able to be psysically able to be there, she has an amazing front row seat to all the action from heaven. i look forward to many more memory-making moments ahead.

in a two week vacation with the littles, i learned a lot. i grew as a person. i accepted realities and have moved through them. i bit off a lot when i decided to take on a trip of this magnitude solo....but i pushed past my fear and i did it! was it perfect? nope. were there some bumps in the road? certainly. but we did it. and *that* is a huge accomplishment....a major turning point, in my book of life. 

leaving a legacy

when i came back from her funeral, my lilies had just started to bloom. they were extremely late bloomers this year. i like to think it was on purpose. 

we have been blogging for a little over two years now. in that time, we have shared our experiences as we have lost friends to cancer. each friend taught us something and left a permanent imprint on our lives. my first sweet friend was lost in august of 2011. if you haven't read about leslie, she was honored in "the dreaded phone call." she left behind her amazing husband and two grown kids and managed to live to see her first grand baby. our second friend was lost in january of 2012. her story inspired "the art of being remembered." megan left behind her husband and two small children. this month, we lost our third beautiful friend to cancer. words cannot express the sadness that has come with the loss of each person but we have gained so much from each of their lives. each one of them has left an impression on us that will never be forgotten and a legacy that they are passing on to those left behind.

when i think of my friend, lara, i cannot help but be grateful for the time i knew her. we moved into our neighborhood very near to the time when her cancer was diagnosed. our now rising 1st graders grew up together. i have watched her fight through her disease. through it all, she left a beautiful legacy, a heritage for those who knew her and for her sweet daughter. when i think of lara, these are the lovely things i will remember.

she left a legacy of family. she loved her family. in a society where spouses are quick to diminish one another in the company of others, she stood out. she publicly praised and honored her husband. she was so thankful for him, for his love, for his care, for his friendship. she built up her husband and he adored her. she modeled a loving marriage for her daughter. that is a gift her sweet girl will carry with her forever. lara took time to invest in and bond with her sister, her best friend. she took time to relish in the relationships with her parents. most of all, she loved her little girl. even on days when she was not feeling well, she invested in the life of her daughter. she was there, smiling as her girl stepped off the school bus. she loved on her, created memories with her, and exemplified what a mother can be. lara recognized that her time was limited but i don't believe that is why she cherished her daughter, her husband, her sister, and her parents. that's just who she was.

she left a legacy of friendship. lara was a true friend and she inspired others around her to become better friends to others. she could make you laugh even in the midst of a horrible day. when i stepped on a school bus to yell at some screaming children (yep, i'm *that* mom), she publicly had my back and cheered me on. when our kids were in preschool and my son insisted on staying behind to clean the sinks in the bathroom because that's what's expected at home (once again...i'm *that* mom too), she praised me to others. she had just enough snark to make things interesting and to keep people laughing. she inspired a neighborhood full of women to become "supporting sisters" and secretly leave her gifts once a week. over the course of two years, there were 35 neighbors and close to 10 women from the preschool who brought her gifts. it takes an amazing friend to inspire that kind of love from others. 

she left a legacy of fortitude. i think this is true of almost anyone fighting cancer. they are the bravest, strongest, most resilient people i have ever known. she outlived and outfought the doctor's time frames. she went through countless medications and countless treatments with such grace and such courage. she fought for time, time with her husband, time with her daughter, time with her family and friends. i am so thankful for her strength. because she fought, we were all given more time with her, more memories. because of her strength and many answered prayers, her daughter has years of memories to take with her. 

she left a legacy of faith. even when things were hard, lara went to church and she brought her daughter. her little girl knew about heaven and when her mommy went there, she understood some about that amazing place. lara knew how important faith would be in her little girl's life and she planted those seeds in her daughter that will grow as years go by. what a gift that is.

when all the dust settles and all the emotions align themselves in my mind, one thing keeps resurfacing...gratitude. i am so grateful. i am grateful to have known lara and leslie. heather is grateful to have known megan. we are grateful for the time we had with each of them. we are grateful that they each left such amazing legacies for their children. their kids have a heritage of faith, of love, of strength and of laughter. we are grateful for what their lives and their deaths have taught us. we are grateful that all of their pain is over. we are inspired to leave a lasting legacy of our own. we are grateful.

the art of being remembered

yesterday, chach got the dreaded phone call. we again lost an amazing mother to cancer and, once more, we're left reeling. while we knew that she was fighting hard against the disease, we were surprised at how quickly she was taken when she took a turn for the worse. now we are left trying to make sense of it all and looking for any bits of wisdom we can find in the midst of the sorrow.

there is nothing that seems right about a wonderful mother saying goodbye to her two young children. it is a loss that is incomprehensible for mothers and children alike. still, there is something precious about a mother who knows her days will be fewer than she wants with her children and who has and takes the time to leave behind her legacy for her children to remember. regardless of how long we have with our children, we can all learn a lesson from a mother that knew. we can learn the art of being remembered...and remembered well.

every family is different, but here are some ways you can place some lasting images into the minds of your children, whether you have a lifetime with them or not.

get in the picture: how many photos do we have of our children? i know the numbers are countless in our family. how many of those pictures include your face? moms and dads are great at snapping photos and usually pretty poor at jumping into them. make a point of taking pictures with each one of your children. pick your favorites, blow them up, put them on the walls of your house. let your kids see everyday how proud you are to be seen with them. i know i've been guilty of staying out of too many photos. i've worried that putting an 8x10 of myself on the wall will look obnoxious. when i have taken the time and put up a picture of me with any of my kids, the picture always ends up being one of that child's favorites. let your kids see your face with theirs on a regular basis.

make some photo books: these projects do take time, money and energy but there are websites (my favorite is shutterfly.com) to help make the process easier. photos are great on a camera, on a computer, even printed out but there is something about having them organized and produced in a book format. my children will pour over photo books repeatedly. they will read the captions and memorize the events they had forgotten as time had passed. it gives them a sense of who they are, where they belong and where they have come from. take the time and make some for your family.

write things down: this one is difficult to do on a regular basis but it is a really special gift you can give your children. start by writing each child a letter on their birthdays. tell them about the year that has passed, how they have grown, how they have changed your life over the last year. keep these letters in a safe place and decide in advance when you'll give them to your children. we're holding onto ours until the kids are leaving for college. writing words down specifically to each individual child is priceless.

get yourself on video: i think a lot of parents take some sort of video coverage of a baby's first days in the hospital and then somehow manage to eliminate themselves from any other footage. get in there! get your spouse to record you being silly with your kids. film yourself playing "just dance" with your kids on the wii. record your spouse reading a favorite story with all the funny voices. capture the moments of your children learning to ride a bike or use roller blades...just make sure you can see the parent running along behind or holding their hand. someday, your kids will make fun of the clothes you are wearing and your totally out of date hair style but they'll also see pictures of a parent who always had their back.

pass on heirlooms and traditions: my kids know that certain recipes have been passed down from my grandmother. they know sayings that have been my family's favorites. they see certain things in our house that are almost a century old. put that stuff in writing. make a cookbook of all your family recipes. look for old pictures of your family making certain dishes and include those in the book. make a photo book of family memories. scan in old pictures of your grandparents and parents and write down the stories of your family that you know or can find out. my grandmother has filled my life with quilts. i am searching for pictures of my grandmother working on her quilting projects to include with pictures of each child and their own special quilts. too often our ancestors stories get lost as the years pass. we can take those stories and preserve them for generations to come.

teach your kids everything: as much as we would like, our days as parents are not all family game nights and playing tag in the backyard. parenting involves mountains of work. besides teaching your kids about play and reading and writing, take every opportunity in your own work day to teach them the basics of life. when you're doing laundry, teach them how to match up socks and fold dish towels until they're ready to learn more. when you are cooking a recipe, even though it will take twice as long with their "help," get them in there stirring with you. their independence may be a long way off, but one day they'll do something on their own and they'll remember it was you who taught them.

spend time one on one: this one can be hard. i've got four kids in my own house and one more coming soon. still, i am learning more and more the value of individual time with my kids. moms, go on a date night with your sons one at a time. dads, take out your daughters. even if you're eating out at mcdonald's, tell them over and over again how special the occasion is. if your kids are older, spend time reading a book next to them as they read on their own. one on one time doesn't have to be extravagant to be meaningful. just show your kids that you enjoy their company all on their own.

how did we do? do you have other ideas you can share? do you feel inspired to leave a lasting impression? i know we do.

the dreaded phone call

last night i received a phone call that i have been hoping would never come. my good friend, leslie is unresponsive in an icu in california after years and years of battling cancer. what started as a small melanoma spread to her lymph nodes, the tissue around her breast, tumors to her brain. she has done amazingly well fighting this horrible disease and we have seen so many times when she was improving. she has been covered in love and prayers and now we have to trust that God has her life in his hands.

as i was sitting last night thinking about her life, so many things came to mind. you may be thinking, "is she going to go into a diatribe about wearing sunscreen?", "is this going to be a cancer prevention blog?" while those things are important, those things didn't stand out to me as i was thinking about leslie. different things came to mind.

that girl knew how to have a good time. i have hundreds of memories with her...laughing, crying, but generally just having an amazing time together. we took an adult beginner's tap dancing class together. seriously, i've never laughed so hard in all my life! there is nothing like watching grown-ups try to learn new tricks and all of a sudden try to gain coordination that wasn't there before. i now know why my parents never signed me up for dance classes as a child. grace is not my thing.

there were countless coffees, dinners out, shopping trips, girl trips to hawaii or to see a broadway show. she is a great friend and i am so glad that i poured myself and my time into someone as wonderful as she. so, here's my sobering word to the wise this morning: take time for girlfriends. i get it. i have four kids i'm chasing around all the time. i know how hard it is to brush your teeth some days, let alone spend time with friends. i know that a dinner out means cutting back on what you feed your family when you're eating in. still, it is so very important.

good girlfriends are magical. they can tell you that certain pants make your butt look big in ways that your husband never should. they can make you laugh when you think you're losing your mind because they have been there before. they can take your mind off of all the normal details of your day by giving a listening ear or sharing a story that puts your day to shame. they can share your life in ways that your husband alone never could.

how about you? do you have a girlfriend you need to call today? do you have a life you need to invest in? i know, it won't be easy; something in your home will fall through the cracks. still, you won't regret taking time for yourself to be with your girlfriends. with leslie, i don't regret a minute or a dime i spent with her. while my heart aches to think of this world without her, i am blessed to have a mind full of the memories of her...and of our friendship together.